A lot of clients I speak with struggle with self-criticism and the conflicting voices we all hear in our minds. 

It's so normal and part of the human experience but really tough to manage sometimes.

Our minds can feel confused, like we have many different voices - it’s because they reflect the many different parts of us. Often we can feel that our inner voices are critical and self sabotaging.

For example, sometimes we are looking at what we’re doing and judging if it’s good enough. Our inner voice becomes that of a judge - focusing harshly both on our flaws, and the flaws of those around us.

Another common voice in us is one that says “I can’t do it - I’m not good enough”, undermining our confidence and self esteem, and often blaming others for our lack of happiness and good fortune. We could call this a victim voice and it can make us feel powerless and without hope.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is often prescribed by the NHS to people seeking help with feeling anxious or depressed. Some ideas from CBT can be useful alongside your counselling. 

The idea is that over time, and with practice, we might be able to shift our thought patterns - for even a small shift can be helpful.  Can we gently push aside the judge and the victim voices and instead talk to ourselves in a way that is fair and kind? 

A compassionate yet also honest voice in our thoughts could be called our own best friend.  This means that if your inner critic or victim is active in your thoughts, stop a moment and think..  “Can I start speaking to myself as I would speak to a close friend, with true kindness?” If we slow down and give space for a growing awareness of our thought patterns, we can think in a slower and more gentle wat, considering how to be more self-compassionate.

If these issues feel familiar to you, you're welcome to get in touch. I'd love to hear from you and work together.