You might feel that your brain is in a loop going over and over things.  Maybe you are thinking about concerning issues (e.g. losing your job, your partner leaving, a loss or a grievance.)  Or maybe you are overthinking “small” or potentially “nice” things (e.g. organising a party or a trip) but the decisions, tasks and reponsibilities associated with it are really getting to you.

You may feel tired out or irritated by the turning over of your thoughts in your mind, like a mess of clothing in a continuous tumble dryer!

Overthinking can speed up when we feel anxious and fearful about carrying out the ideas or the outcome of something.  It’s very human and common to do this, and most clients I meet experience overthinking at times. 

However if it’s making you feel low and draining you of your energy, you may ask yourself:

"how can I break the over-thinking cycle?"

The first step is identifying the thoughts looping in our minds.

Can you lay out all the thoughts that are troubling you before you like you would clothes coming out of a washer and hang them out on the line clearly in front of you? No matter how big or small,  be honest and see clearly what thoughts are troubling you.

(Enough of this laundry analogy!)

The second step is to start to meet the fearful feelings behind the thoughts with compassion and curiosity. 

You might gradually change from battling with the thoughts, stepping back from them and observing them.  You may begin to understand and explore where your fear that keeps them looping comes from, voicing out loud about it and sharing any fears, however small, shameful or "silly" can help. Perhaps your difficult feelings are attached to :

• to a past experience
• the uncertainty of what could happen,
• or your wish for things to be perfect

You will probably feel that exploring the pattern of these thoughts in relation to your background and experiences can help you to feel more understood and at peace. Once you can see a pattern and understand what may drive it, a further step can be to realise that uncertainty is the only certainty of life - it’s a major challenge but worth spending some time pondering this!   

John Allen Paulos, a mathematician and speaker on life and probability can give us some tough wisdom: “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” (1)

You might also catastrophise and focus on the worst outcome -  you can gradually learn steps to help with this.  Pause, breathe and give time for your thoughts to explore the opportunity to see many different possibilities, the good and the bad and the average,  to start to encourage a balance of thoughts within you.

Can you learn some other mindful techniques to start to let go of control and accept many possible outcomes? Some techniques you might try to ease over-thinking:

• setting yourself a fixed time for worrying
• writing your concerns down in a notebook
• practising meditation - accessible via many Apps such as Insight Timer or local groups e.g. Hove Kadampa or Brighton Buddhist Centre
• doing some breathing exercises,
• journalling about your experience of your thoughts

These practises can teach us gradually to learn we are not just our thoughts - they come and they go, the “true you” is a larger presence within, like a clear sky. For in meditation practice thoughts are often described as "white clouds in a clear blue sky”, thoughts are temporary and fleeting,

but they do not define you as a whole - you are the sky itself.

If this sounds interesting to you, don't hesitate to reach out and contact me about counselling sessions either at The Garden Practice in Hove, or online.

We can explore your overthinking and other issues together.

Reference:  (1) "A Mathematician Plays the Stock Market", John Allen Paulos, 2003, Basic Books, NY.